I am a bad person, and I need help.

I am a bad person, and I need help.  I belittle those who I love.  If I care about a person I can't stop critiquing and criticizing them on every level.   I have absolutely no patience.  If I can do something faster I'll take over, without thinking about someone else's feelings. I don't know how to act to not risk jeopardizing the thing that means most in the whole world to me:  my boyfriend.

The Diary of an Unhappy Girl: Always Something More Important than Me

There's always something that comes up that's more important than me for my boyfriend.  Today I got all of my wisdom teeth pulled out which has always been a major phobia of mine (probably the only phobia that I have, actually).  He didn't wish me good luck or say "I hope it goes well" beforehand or ask me how it went when I called him.  Right after I got out of the surgery I called him and he said he'd come over in an hour.  3 hours later, after I texted him asking where he was, he said something has come up and he can't make it.  He never asked how the surgery went or how I felt.

Comment anything if you're reading this:

Hello everybody.  I'm not sure if anyone out there really looks at my blog.

Here's some ideas of things you can comment below to let me know you're out there!

• A random, single letter.  "b"
• Your favorite summer activity. "BBQing hamburgers and hot dogs"
• Your favorite thing to do for a date.
• Favorite thing to do for your significant other.
• What color your walls are.
• ANYTHING!

Sincerely,

CD

Exciting news!

An updated makeup collection video and accompanying blog post is soon to come!  It should be up by the end of the month hopefully!  I'll also be doing a "What Makeup Am I Bringing to College?" video and post.

XOXO,
CD

The Diary of an Uhappy Girl: Waiting

I'm always waiting.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  I really hate waiting.  My boyfriend can never get to spending time with me in a timely manner.  It's always 2 or 3 hours or more later than I'd like to.  It's like there's no compromise.  Ever.  Is the compromise that he's even coming to spend time with me?  It's hard being in a relationship where you're the only one who gives and is truly invested, while the other person is always one foot in, one foot out.

With him, something always comes up that must push back our time together.  Our time together can never be prioritized--it's just something to do when he hasn't got anything else to do. Many times I'm wonder if I'm just wasting my time loving someone with all my heart who may never truly commit to me or who can't convey his true feelings about how he feels about his future with me.

The Diary of an Unhappy Girl: Lonely

No one ever asks me to do anything.  If I don't initiate plans, I would be by myself all of the time.  If I want my boyfriend to spend time with me or even talk with me on the phone, I have to call him over and over and text him over and over or else he would completely forget.  I'm always an afterthought.  I always want to do so many things with him.  Even if he agrees to it, he will end up coming 3 or 4 hours late and then will be "too tired" or it's just too late or what have you.  I want to go out and go hiking or do anything but I have no one.

Things you really shouldn't share with people...

You could say I'm socially awkward.

You could say I'm an oversharer.

You could say I'm completely oblivious to the workings of the social web.

Here's some things I've found you really just shouldn't share with people:

• When I get stressed I clench my butt cheeks so hard that my tush starts to hurt.
• 1 in 18 males have an extra nipple.
• 1 in 50 females have an extra nipple.
• Examples of celebrities with extra nipples (Harry Styles, Carry Underwood, etc...)
• When I get really stressed I get the runs.
• What lengths you've gone to Facebook stalk a person.